How Emotional Control is an Unstoppable Superpower

All emotions, even the less pleasant ones, are important and serve a purpose. For instance, if you’re feeling anxious about an upcoming test or your first day at a new job, that anxiety can motivate you to study or prepare more. While it may not feel great to experience anxiety, it can push us to be better prepared for things that matter to us. Emotional control can be a superpower for you in your life!

Often, when we face unpleasant or overwhelming emotions, we try to push them away. The tricky part is that the harder we try to suppress our feelings, the louder they can become. Imagine trying to push a beach ball under the ocean; every time you force it down, it pops back up. However, if we simply let the beach ball float on the water, it may bother us for a moment, but eventually, it will drift away. This analogy illustrates what happens when we try to avoid our emotions. When we force them down, they keep resurfacing, but when we allow them to be, they eventually subside.

Experiencing emotions, even the unpleasant ones like anxiety, is a normal part of being human. The challenge arises when these emotions become too overwhelming and start to interfere with our daily functioning. Emotional regulation is a crucial skill; when we struggle to manage our emotions, we might say or do things we regret, experience lower well-being, or find our relationships suffering as a result.

Strategies to Regulate Our Emotions

There are several strategies we can use to help regulate our emotions. One effective technique developed by Dr. Daniel Siegel is called “name it to tame it.” This approach involves simply noticing and labeling the emotions we’re experiencing. By naming our feelings, we engage our prefrontal cortex—the part of our brain responsible for reasoning, problem-solving, and impulse control—which helps calm our minds and bodies. For example, if I were feeling anxious about a test, I might say to myself, “I am feeling anxious about my upcoming test.” By naming the emotion, I can start to regulate my anxiety and figure out my next steps.

Self-Compassion

Practicing self-compassion is another powerful way to improve emotional regulation. Self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend in a similar situation. It involves acknowledging your feelings without judgment, recognizing that everyone struggles at times, and being gentle with yourself. When you’re facing overwhelming emotions, try asking yourself what you would say to a friend who is feeling the same way.

Learning to manage our emotions can be challenging, but it’s a valuable skill. Connecting with a therapist can be an excellent option for those looking to better understand their emotional responses and enhance their emotional regulation skills. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and taking steps to improve your emotional control can truly feel like a superpower.

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An insight from Julia Slaunwhite, Crossroads Practicum Student.

Julia Slaunwhite has joined Crossroads initially as a therapist practicum student finishing the Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology degree at Yorkville University. Following the completion of her student work term and January 2025 graduation, she is expected to join the team as an associate. Contact Crossroads to book a therapy session with Julia or any of our therapeutic staff.

Did you know that our hourly rate for sessions with Crossroads Practicum Students is $25? Book today!