How to Approach a New School Year if Your Child Faces Unique Challenges

A guest insight from Crossroads Associate Therapist, Kirsten Spasyouti, M.A.

It’s that time again: the beginning of a new school year! For some families, this may be a very exciting time filled with shopping for the best backpack and the 64-pack of crayons (with the sharpener, of course!).

Yet, for some families, “back to school” can mean something very different. Not all children approach the new school year and the new classroom with confidence. Some children, particularly those with neurodiversity (differences in functioning including autism (ASD) and attention deficit or hyperactivity (ADHD)), face challenges in the classroom; not all of which can be navigated alone. Sometimes those challenges require family members to advocate for the child. Stepping into that role with confidence is a challenge for many families. Advocating for your neurodiverse child is important for their wellbeing.

If you are in this situation, while it can feel isolating, please know that you are not the only family experiencing this and know that you are not alone and not without support. Many schools are prepared to provide additional support where needed. Yet, anticipating these challenges can bring additional stressors for families – preparing themselves to be the voice of advocacy for their child, expecting more meetings and appointments added to the calendar, and exerting more time and effort in letting their child’s school know what is needed to increase the chances of academic and social success, as well as mental well-being.

As you consider if, when and how questions regarding your involvement in advocating for your neurodiverse child, please consider the following questions.

How do I know that I am the best person to advocate for my child?
Caregivers are quite possibly one of the best, if not the best, advocates for their child’s well-being. Other than the child themself, you know and love them best. You and your child know their strengths, their needs and their interests in a way that no one else will. Being the keeper of this information, being the individual who knows your child the way that you do, can feel like a gift. And at the same time, needing to be that voice can also feel like a huge responsibility. Feel confident in the fact that you have spent your child’s whole life getting to know them and that you can help others see them in the same way that you do.

How can I support my child in being able to advocate for themselves?
Your child, no matter their age, should be involved in making decisions related to their schooling and their well-being, where possible. Your child will benefit greatly from being able to advocate for themselves now and in the future, in both school and workplace settings alike. You can start building self-advocacy skills right at home by preparing yourself in the following 4 ways:

1. Ask your child questions about themselves. When you think about being in school, what do you find helpful? What do you find not helpful? What are the things you feel good at? Where do you think you have room to grow? What do you enjoy about school? What is not so fun for you? What subjects do you wish you had every day? What about the subjects you’d only want to have once per week? This information can help guide you and your child about what to ask for.
2. Create a warm, nonjudgmental space for your children to communicate with you. If they can talk about the things that they like and don’t like, both at home and at school, with you without feeling like they’re upsetting anyone this increases their confidence in being able to express their needs and wants to others.
3. Consider the way in which you speak about and acknowledge support needs at school and home. If your child hears these things being discussed in a way that suggests having needs is a bad thing, or that the school is not supportive, it can create negative associations for them. If your child’s support needs are being met with open arms and spoken about in a more positive light at home, they are more likely to feel confident in asking for a receiving such help at school.
4. Find opportunities for your child to speak up. During meetings with others, such as school personnel, you can provide opportunities for your child to speak up. If they take the opportunity, great! If they don’t, you’ve still shown them that their voice matters and wants to be heard by others. This may increase the chances of them speaking up the next time!

Ensuring that your child knows that they are loved and supported as a valued and capable person is critical to their success in life. You can start on this path by being prepared and intentional.

Kirsten Spasyouti is a Registered Counselling Therapist – Candidate offering therapy for children, adolescents and adults ages 5 and older. Kirsten specializes in supporting individuals and their families who identify as being neurodiverse with a particular focus in autism and ADHD.