Crossroads
Counselling & Psychological Services
How To Maximize Your Child’s Athletic Confidence
As both a psychologist and a parent, I get a unique perspective on how young athletes develop—and the critical role parents play in that journey. I also coach one of my child’s sports teams, which allows me to see firsthand the impact of parental involvement on their athletic growth. I see how many parents desire to maximize their child’s athletic confidence.
I absolutely love watching players join a team, gain confidence, and develop not just their athletic skills, but also their interpersonal abilities, teamwork, and mindset. As a coach, it’s far more important to me that players grow as people than simply focus on their performance in the sport. The lessons they learn—perseverance, grit, teamwork, and resilience—are often far more valuable than any medal or trophy they could win. These lessons shape young athletes for life.
But what role do parents play in their child’s athletic confidence? I came across an insightful article in Psychology Today that offers a lot of food for thought for any parent of a young athlete.
The Science of Building Athletic Confidence in Youth Athletes
The author, a performance psychologist who works with athletes from youth leagues to the NBA, highlights a fascinating pattern: the most confident athletes often aren’t those who received the most praise or won the most games early on. Instead, their confidence is built on specific environmental factors that parents can actively nurture.
The article references Deci and Ryan’s Self-Determination Theory, which emphasizes that athletic confidence rooted in internal motivation endures far longer than confidence based on external validation (Deci & Ryan, 2000).
Wait a minute… isn’t our job as parents to motivate our kids, to celebrate their victories, and to cheer them on when they win games, banners, and awards? Well, not exactly!
The article provides evidence-based principles to help guide our behaviour as parents, but it also includes a crucial warning: “While these principles are well-supported by research, implementing them often requires parents to act counter to common instincts.” This is a powerful reminder that we may need to shift our mindset to better support our kids’ long-term development.
I won’t spoil all of the key messages of the article—you’ll need to read it to fully appreciate the insights it offers. However, I’d like to share five key principles to your maximize your child’s athletic confidence and self-belief:
1. Monitor the Challenge Level of Practices and Games
Ensure that your child’s experiences—whether in practice or games—are appropriately challenging. Too little challenge can breed boredom, while too much can lead to frustration. The right balance helps foster growth and confidence.
2. Ask Open-Ended Questions About Their Sports Experience
Rather than asking, “Did you win?” or “Did you score?” try asking questions like, “What did you learn today?” or “What was the most challenging part of practice?” This encourages your child to reflect on the process, not just the outcome.
3. Provide Specific, Process-Focused Feedback
Instead of just praising the results (“Great job!”), focus on the effort and the process (“I noticed how hard you worked on your footwork during practice!”). This helps reinforce growth and effort over mere success.
4. Model a Growth Mindset in Your Own Life
Children learn much by watching. By embracing challenges and setbacks in your own life, you model the value of persistence, learning, and resilience. Show them that growth is a continuous process, both in sport and in life.
5. Celebrate Effort and Learning, Not Just Outcomes
It’s tempting to celebrate victories, but it’s equally important to celebrate the effort and progress along the way. Recognize moments where your child put in hard work, learned something new, or persevered through a challenge.
Are you ready to take on this challenge as a parent? By shifting our focus from external achievements to internal growth, we can help our children build lasting confidence that will serve them well, both on and off the field.
Amy Wiens, psychologist, is the founder and Principal of Crossroads Counselling & Psychological Services. She holds an Honours degree in Psychology from Saint Mary’s University and a Master’s degree in Counselling Psychology with a focus in Marriage and Family Therapy from Trinity Western University. With her educational background and passion for helping individuals, couples, and families live more congruent, authentic, and meaningful lives, Amy is dedicated to supporting clients in navigating their personal challenges.
Understanding Social Anxiety and the Role of Emotion Focused Therapy
A insight addressing the challenges faced by individuals with Social Anxiety and the benefits of Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT)and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can provide. from Mark Ramsay, Registered Counselling Therapist – Candidate at Crossroads.
Social Anxiety (SA), previously known as Social Phobia, is more than just shyness or introversion—it’s a
deeply debilitating condition that affects millions of people worldwide. It’s characterized by an intense
and persistent fear of being judged, scrutinized, or humiliated in social situations. For some, this fear
centres on specific activities like public speaking, while for others, it spans a broader range of
interpersonal interactions. These fears often lead to avoidance behaviours, making it difficult to form
meaningful relationships or pursue personal goals, and can result in feelings of isolation, loneliness, and
even depression.
Despite being one of the most common psychological difficulties affecting up to 12% of people during
their lifetime, social anxiety can be addressed through several therapeutic approaches. Cognitive
Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is often the first-line treatment, with well-established models like those
developed by Clark and Wells or Heimberg. These methods have been highly effective for many
individuals, providing tools to challenge and reframe negative thought patterns while gradually building
confidence in social situations. However, exploring alternative approaches such as Emotion-Focused
Therapy (EFT) can complement these efforts and provide additional options for addressing social
anxiety.
EFT approaches social anxiety through a lens of emotional awareness and transformation. It recognizes
that individuals with SA often feel trapped—they crave connection but avoid it out of fear, leading to a
cycle of misery and stuckness. EFT therapists work to help clients understand and process the underlying
emotions driving their anxiety, such as shame, fear, and longing for acceptance. By addressing these
core emotions, EFT helps clients develop new emotional experiences and patterns, reducing their need
for avoidance and fostering a greater sense of self-compassion and social confidence.
What makes EFT particularly promising for social anxiety is its flexibility and relational focus. It allows
therapists to meet clients where they are, helping them navigate the complexities of their emotional
worlds. Techniques such as compassionate self-soothing and process-guiding can be especially effective
for individuals who may feel overwhelmed by unstructured social settings, including therapy itself. EFT
offers a unique perspective by addressing the root emotional experiences of social anxiety, helping
clients reduce their fears while empowering them to build meaningful relationships and live fuller, more
connected lives.
Mark Ramsay, M.Sc., is a is a Registered Counselling Therapist – Candidate (RCT-C) with Crossroads. Mark’s therapeutic focus includes providing counselling/psychotherapy to different client populations and age groups including children, adolescents, and adults. To book a session with Mark, please contact us.
6 Tips for Effective Communication with Your Partner
A Couples Counselling post addressing how to communicate effectively in your relationship, from Liza Leblanc, Social Worker Candidate at Crossroads Counselling & Psychological Services. The health of our intimate relationships are core to our wellbeing. They impact every area of our lives. Working to ensure effective communication is foundational for a satisfying relationship.
6 Tips for Effective Communication with your partner:
1. Listen Actively: Focus on what your partner is saying without interrupting. Validate their feelings!
2. Share Vulnerably: Open up about your own emotions and experiences. Honesty builds trust.
3. Use “I” Statements: Express your feelings using statements like “I feel” instead of “You make me feel.” This reduces defensiveness.
4. Stay Present: Focus on the conversation at hand. Put away distractions to fully engage with each other. That includes your phone! 🙂
5. Practice Empathy: Try to understand your partner’s perspective. Acknowledge their emotions, even if you don’t agree.
6. Check in Regularly: Make it a habit to touch base emotionally. Ask each other how you’re feeling and what you need.
If you and your partner are seeking support, contact us to book an initial session.
#CouplesCommunication #EFT #HealthyRelationships #EmotionalConnection #Halifax #NovaScotia #Couplestherapy #Therapy #effectivecommunication
Liza Leblanc, MSW, is a Social Worker Candidate with experience managing change through a trauma-informed framework for her clients. Her experience includes providing counselling to children, adolescents, and adults with a particular focus on working with couples and families. She can be found on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/lizaleblanc_swc/.
To book an appointment with Liza, contact us.
Money Troubles in Your Relationship? You Are Not Alone.
A Couples Therapy post addressing how couples counselling can help you work through relationship-based money troubles. From Liza Leblanc, Social Worker Candidate at Crossroads Counselling & Psychological Services.
Do you ever find yourself in the midst of relationship troubles that started with money issues? Navigating finances can be a challenge for many couples, often leading to misunderstandings and conflict. You’re not alone if you find yourselves struggling in this area.
Engaging in relationship support offers more than just conflict resolution; it provides a safe environment to explore differing perspectives. Here’s how couples counselling can help:
Facilitated Conversations: A neutral setting can make discussing finances less daunting. With professional guidance, you can share your feelings and concerns in a more constructive way.
Identifying Triggers: Money issues can uncover deep-rooted beliefs and past experiences. Relationship support can help you recognize these triggers, making it easier to face challenges together.
Encouraging Collaboration: Engaging in therapeutic work as a couple promotes a sense of teamwork, transforming financial discussions into a cooperative effort to create a plan that works for both partners.
Enhancing Connection: By fostering understanding and compassion, these conversations can strengthen your relationship, allowing you to work together more effectively.
If financial disagreements are causing strain in your relationship, consider seeking support as a couple. It can provide the guidance needed to navigate these conversations with confidence.
Remember, asking for help in relationship-based money troubles is a proactive step towards a healthier partnership.
#Couplestherapy#Financialcommunication#HealthyRelationships#EmotionalConnection#CrossroadsCounselling#EFT#finances#novascotia#hammondsplains#couplescounselling
Liza Leblanc, MSW, is a Social Worker Candidate with experience managing change through a trauma-informed framework for her clients. Her experience includes providing counselling to children, adolescents, and adults with a particular focus on working with couples and families. She can be found on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/lizaleblanc_swc/.
To book an appointment with Liza, contact us.
Rebuild Trust After Betrayal – Couples Therapeutic Support
A Couples Counselling post addressing how to rebuild trust after betrayal, from Liza Leblanc, Social Worker Candidate at Crossroads Counselling & Psychological Services.
Betrayal can shake the very foundation of our relationships, leaving us feeling vulnerable and unsure. If you are navigating this difficult path, remember: healing takes time, but it is possible. Here are some steps to start rebuilding trust:
1️⃣ **Acknowledge the Pain**: It’s essential to validate your feelings. Betrayal hurts, and recognizing that pain is the first step in moving forward.
2️⃣ **Open Communication**: Share your feelings openly with the person who hurt you. Honest dialogue can create a bridge to understanding and healing.
3️⃣ **Set Boundaries**: Establish clear boundaries that protect your emotional well-being. This not only helps you feel safe but also encourages respect in the relationship.
4️⃣ **Seek Clarity**: Understand what led to the betrayal. Insight can foster empathy and help both parties navigate their emotions.
5️⃣ **Practice Patience**: Rebuilding trust is not an overnight process. Give yourself and the other person grace as you work through the intricate layers of healing.
Remember, trust is built through consistent actions and a commitment to healing. You can rebuild trust after betrayal. If you’re seeking support in rebuilding trust, please reach out via phone or email!
#crossroadscounselling#socialworker#novascotia#halifax#hammondsplains#counselling#therapy#couplestherapy#couplescounselling
Liza Leblanc, MSW, is a Social Worker Candidate with experience managing change through a trauma-informed framework for her clients. Her experience includes providing counselling to children, adolescents, and adults with a particular focus on working with couples and families. She can be found on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/lizaleblanc_swc/.
To book an appointment with Liza, contact us.
Empowering Wellness: Crossroads Counselling’s Growth and Impact
At Crossroads Counselling & Psychological Services, our mission is to provide exceptional and personalized mental health support to individuals, couples, and families in the Halifax region. Since 2017, we have cultivated a safe and supportive space for clients to explore their mental health and embark on a path toward healing and wellness. Our services, including couples counselling, grief counselling, anxiety / depression counselling and child therapy, are designed to address the unique needs of the diverse communities we serve.
Building a Practice for the Halifax Community
From the beginning, Crossroads Counselling has been committed to making mental health services accessible and reducing the stigma surrounding therapy. Our vision was to establish a thriving practice in Hammonds Plains that offers top-tier care across various specialties, including services for individuals from children through adults and support for families and couples. Mental health is a vital aspect of overall well-being, and its impact extends beyond individuals to their relationships, families, and the broader community.
The Journey from Humble Beginnings
When Amy Wiens, founder and psychologist, first opened Crossroads, the practice began modestly with just one office in a small local business centre. Amy’s dedication to delivering compassionate care, whether through couples counselling or individual counselling, quickly gained recognition. Word spread among clients, doctors, and community leaders, and our practice expanded in both team size and client base.
By 2020, we recognized the growing demand for services for people facing issues such as anxiety and depression, prompting the search for a larger, more purpose-built facility. Our goal was to create a calming and secure space where clients would feel supported on their journey toward mental well-being.
Expansion to Meet the Growing Needs
In 2023, we found the perfect building at 128 Appaloosa Run that matched our vision. Renovations began early in 2024, with an emphasis on confidentiality, soundproofing, and comfort — critical elements for creating a tranquil environment for mental health. This thoughtfully designed space allows us to better serve clients from the immediate Hammonds Plains / Bedford community and throughout the Halifax area.
Simultaneously, we expanded our team to include more specialized psychologists, therapists, and social workers, ensuring that we can meet the growing demand for mental health services. We are proud to have assembled a team with diverse expertise, offering support in areas like ADHD, autism, family systems, assessments and more.
Supporting Halifax Through Comprehensive Mental Health Services
At Crossroads, we support clients across the Halifax Regional Municipality (HRM) with a wide range of mental health needs. Our services cater to individuals, couples, families, children and adolescents. Whether through couples counselling to strengthen relationships, grief counselling to help navigate loss, or child therapy to support young clients, our approaches are always tailored to meet the unique needs of each individual.
Our commitment to delivering the highest quality of care remains strong, and as we continue to grow and settle into our new facility, our vision of providing the best in mental health counselling in Halifax is becoming a reality.
If you are interested in booking an appointment for therapy services, please contact us.
How Emotional Control is an Unstoppable Superpower
All emotions, even the less pleasant ones, are important and serve a purpose. For instance, if you’re feeling anxious about an upcoming test or your first day at a new job, that anxiety can motivate you to study or prepare more. While it may not feel great to experience anxiety, it can push us to be better prepared for things that matter to us. Emotional control can be a superpower for you in your life!
Often, when we face unpleasant or overwhelming emotions, we try to push them away. The tricky part is that the harder we try to suppress our feelings, the louder they can become. Imagine trying to push a beach ball under the ocean; every time you force it down, it pops back up. However, if we simply let the beach ball float on the water, it may bother us for a moment, but eventually, it will drift away. This analogy illustrates what happens when we try to avoid our emotions. When we force them down, they keep resurfacing, but when we allow them to be, they eventually subside.
Experiencing emotions, even the unpleasant ones like anxiety, is a normal part of being human. The challenge arises when these emotions become too overwhelming and start to interfere with our daily functioning. Emotional regulation is a crucial skill; when we struggle to manage our emotions, we might say or do things we regret, experience lower well-being, or find our relationships suffering as a result.
Strategies to Regulate Our Emotions
There are several strategies we can use to help regulate our emotions. One effective technique developed by Dr. Daniel Siegel is called “name it to tame it.” This approach involves simply noticing and labeling the emotions we’re experiencing. By naming our feelings, we engage our prefrontal cortex—the part of our brain responsible for reasoning, problem-solving, and impulse control—which helps calm our minds and bodies. For example, if I were feeling anxious about a test, I might say to myself, “I am feeling anxious about my upcoming test.” By naming the emotion, I can start to regulate my anxiety and figure out my next steps.
Self-Compassion
Practicing self-compassion is another powerful way to improve emotional regulation. Self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend in a similar situation. It involves acknowledging your feelings without judgment, recognizing that everyone struggles at times, and being gentle with yourself. When you’re facing overwhelming emotions, try asking yourself what you would say to a friend who is feeling the same way.
Learning to manage our emotions can be challenging, but it’s a valuable skill. Connecting with a therapist can be an excellent option for those looking to better understand their emotional responses and enhance their emotional regulation skills. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and taking steps to improve your emotional control can truly feel like a superpower.
An insight from Julia Slaunwhite, Crossroads Practicum Student.
Julia Slaunwhite has joined Crossroads initially as a therapist practicum student finishing the Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology degree at Yorkville University. Following the completion of her student work term and January 2025 graduation, she is expected to join the team as an associate. Contact Crossroads to book a therapy session with Julia or any of our therapeutic staff.
Did you know that our hourly rate for sessions with Crossroads Practicum Students is $25? Book today!
Embrace Intimacy: The Transformative Impact of Emotionally Focused Therapy on Your Love Life
When we look at relationships through the lens of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), we see that many conflicts between couples stem from deeper emotional needs related to attachment. Think about your own relationship: each of us brings a unique blend of emotional experiences shaped by our backgrounds, childhoods, and past relationships. These experiences influence how we connect with our partners. When our emotional needs go unmet, it can leave us feeling ignored, invalidated, or insecure. This unmet yearning can trigger stronger emotional reactions than we might expect, setting the stage for conflict. Instead of drawing us closer, these disagreements often amplify feelings of vulnerability and isolation.
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a therapeutic approach designed to help couples and individuals strengthen their emotional bonds and improve their relationships. Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson in the 1980s, EFT is based on the premise that strong emotional connections are essential for healthy relationships. EFT has been shown to be effective in various relationship contexts, including those dealing with issues like infidelity, parenting challenges, and emotional distance. It provides a structured framework for couples to reconnect and build a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
In EFT, we describe these recurring arguments and misunderstandings as a couple’s “cycle.” Picture it as an infinity loop—endless and intertwined—where your actions, emotions, and thoughts continuously influence each other. It can feel like a complex dance that quickly becomes chaotic. This cycle can be painful and confusing, leaving both partners feeling trapped in a spiral of frustration and hurt. It’s common to feel hopeless in these moments, as if meaningful change is just out of reach.
How Does EFT Couples Therapy Help?
That’s where EFT couples therapy can make a difference. It provides a warm and supportive space for you and your partner to explore your unique cycle together. In this safe environment, you can uncover what’s truly happening beneath the surface of your relationship and gain a deeper understanding of each other. Through this journey, you can learn how to break free from unhealthy patterns and begin building a more connected and fulfilling relationship.
Many people think of couples therapy as a resource only in times of crisis, but it doesn’t have to be that way. EFT couples therapy can serve as a preventative measure, helping you examine and understand the dynamics of your relationship—even if things feel pretty good. Every relationship, no matter how happy, has cycles worth exploring, and this work can lead to even greater intimacy and connection.
To explore how EFT might be a helpful approach to explore your relationship, please contact Crossroads.
An insight from Crossroads Associate, Liza Leblanc.
Liza Leblanc, MSW, is a Social Worker Candidate with experience managing change through a trauma-informed framework for her clients. Her experience includes providing counselling to children, adolescents, and adults with a particular focus on working with couples and families.
Child & Adolescent Assessments
Several of Crossroads Associates bring a therapeutic focus on child and adolescent counselling. As part of that new focus, Crossroads is now accepting waitlist applications for ADHD and Psychoeducational Assessments.
Find out more –
Grief and Loss: A Person-Centred Path to Healing
An insight from Crossroads Associate, Mark Ramsay, M.Sc.
Talking about grief and loss can be incredibly challenging. These experiences often involve deeply personal and vulnerable emotions that are hard to express. The intensity of grief can make it difficult to find the right words, and many people worry about burdening others with their pain. There’s also the fear of being judged or misunderstood, with concerns that their response to loss might be seen as excessive or inappropriate.
Grief and loss are universal experiences, affecting us all at some point. They can overwhelm us, leaving us in a whirlwind of emotions or feeling completely numb. A person-centred approach to understanding and coping with these feelings offers valuable insights. This approach creates a safe, focused space for individuals to openly explore their emotions. It’s crucial to address and differentiate other emotional states, like lingering resentments or guilt, from the grief itself. The goal is to fully experience and process these emotions rather than avoid or suppress them.
A key aspect of this approach is the belief that everyone has the capacity to heal. When dealing with loss, it’s common to feel engulfed by despair, confusion, guilt, sadness, or anger. Therapists who offer genuine empathy and support can help individuals tap into their own resources to process these difficult emotions. Feeling truly heard and understood encourages people to open up and work through their grief.
Importantly, this approach empowers individuals to take control of their own grief. Grief isn’t a straightforward path; it’s often messy, tangled, and unpredictable. Each person’s experience is unique, and that’s perfectly okay. By respecting each individual’s timeline and honouring their personal journey, therapists can help those grieving find a greater sense of control in their healing process. This approach fosters emotional growth and deeper self-understanding. Ultimately, while grief is profoundly painful, it can also be a transformative experience leading to healing and self-discovery.
Mark Ramsay, M.Sc., is a is a Registered Counselling Therapist – Candidate (RCT-C) with Crossroads. Mark’s therapeutic focus includes providing counselling/psychotherapy to different client populations and age groups including children, adolescents, and adults, particularly those working through palliative care / grief issues including using a person-centred approach to therapy. To book a session with Mark, please contact us.