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How to Prepare for a School Advocacy Meeting
A guest insight from Crossroads Associate Therapist, Kirsten Spasyouti.
Though it may seem like an out of the blue question, for families with a child who is neurodiverse, preparation and intentionality are important for the child’s wellbeing. In Part 1 of this 2 part series, we explored the question of how to be an effective advocate for your child who is neurodiverse (differences in functioning including autism (ASD) and attention deficit or hyperactivity (ADHD). In this, part 2, we explore how you and your child prepare for a school advocacy meeting.
Sometimes it is necessary for you as the parent or guardian to speak directly to educational staff on your child’s behalf. You, as the advocate, need to ensure that your child’s unique perspective and needs are considered and educational objectives are being enabled. Here are 6 key principles to ensure you are advocating effectively at a school advocacy meeting:
- Understand the Advocate’s Role. Go in to the school advocacy meeting with the understanding of what it means to be an advocate. Advocating for yourself or for your child does not always mean knowing all the information. It means speaking up about your concerns, or expressing what you feel will be helpful supports to have in place for the upcoming school year.
- Understand that your feelings are valid. As a caregiver you want what’s best for your child, but that does not mean that it is always easy to ask for it. For some caregivers, having the understanding that your child may need additional support can be upsetting, and that is OK. Having a child with different abilities or needs is not always easy, and needing to be their voice is not always easy, either. From
your child’s point of view, it can be hard to ask for help sometimes, too. Helping them to understand that it’s OK to ask for help, and that everyone learns differently is a great tool to support them now and in the future. - Write down your thoughts in advance on what you would like to discuss in the school advocacy meeting. Meetings can sometimes feel overwhelming with a lot of information being shared and a lot of jargon being used. This can increase the chances of forgetting important points you wanted to make or losing your train of thought. By having your main talking points documented it can help to keep the meeting on track and ensure you’ve both said what you needed to say.
- Organize your thoughts and objectives. Consider organizing your thoughts, concerns and requests into appropriate categories. Some examples may be academics, socialization, communication, and behavior. The categories may be different child to child, or even year to year. Organizing yourself in this way can help to maintain focus in the meeting, rather than jumping between different support needs and potentially losing track of all key points that need to be made.
- Assume the best of everyone involved. Understand that all those in attendance are most likely there with the child’s best interest in mind. This can help to approach the conversation less guarded and more open to teamwork and back-and-forth communication.
- Ask your child what they would like their teachers and other staff to know. Let your child know that they will have the opportunity to speak for themselves, but if they change their mind about doing so, then you can provide the information for them. Either way, their opinions, wants and needs are being expressed from their point of view.
You may wonder, how do I ensure that support is being implemented? Check in often with your child and your child’s school. Does your child feel well- supported in the classroom? Are they noticing anything that feels tough? Are they noticing positive changes? With the passage of time, more information and students to juggle, or even new teachers and staff entering the space, things may get lost in translation. It could be helpful to set the next “check in” at each meeting you have with your child’s teacher or school. It can also be helpful to have any support requests in written format to ensure all in involved have the same understanding of what is needed and a place to refer back to. By having frequent check-ins with all those involved you can work as a team to increase the chances of a successful school year!
Kirsten Spasyouti is a Registered Counselling Therapy – Candidate offering therapy for children, adolescents and adults ages 5 and older. Kirsten specializes in supporting individuals and their families who identify as being neurodiverse with a particular focus in autism and ADHD. Contact us to book a session with Kirsten.
How to Approach a New School Year if Your Child Faces Unique Challenges
A guest insight from Crossroads Associate Therapist, Kirsten Spasyouti, M.A.
It’s that time again: the beginning of a new school year! For some families, this may be a very exciting time filled with shopping for the best backpack and the 64-pack of crayons (with the sharpener, of course!).
Yet, for some families, “back to school” can mean something very different. Not all children approach the new school year and the new classroom with confidence. Some children, particularly those with neurodiversity (differences in functioning including autism (ASD) and attention deficit or hyperactivity (ADHD)), face challenges in the classroom; not all of which can be navigated alone. Sometimes those challenges require family members to advocate for the child. Stepping into that role with confidence is a challenge for many families. Advocating for your neurodiverse child is important for their wellbeing.
If you are in this situation, while it can feel isolating, please know that you are not the only family experiencing this and know that you are not alone and not without support. Many schools are prepared to provide additional support where needed. Yet, anticipating these challenges can bring additional stressors for families – preparing themselves to be the voice of advocacy for their child, expecting more meetings and appointments added to the calendar, and exerting more time and effort in letting their child’s school know what is needed to increase the chances of academic and social success, as well as mental well-being.
As you consider if, when and how questions regarding your involvement in advocating for your neurodiverse child, please consider the following questions.
How do I know that I am the best person to advocate for my child?
Caregivers are quite possibly one of the best, if not the best, advocates for their child’s well-being. Other than the child themself, you know and love them best. You and your child know their strengths, their needs and their interests in a way that no one else will. Being the keeper of this information, being the individual who knows your child the way that you do, can feel like a gift. And at the same time, needing to be that voice can also feel like a huge responsibility. Feel confident in the fact that you have spent your child’s whole life getting to know them and that you can help others see them in the same way that you do.
How can I support my child in being able to advocate for themselves?
Your child, no matter their age, should be involved in making decisions related to their schooling and their well-being, where possible. Your child will benefit greatly from being able to advocate for themselves now and in the future, in both school and workplace settings alike. You can start building self-advocacy skills right at home by preparing yourself in the following 4 ways:
- Ask your child questions about themselves. When you think about being in school, what do you find helpful? What do you find not helpful? What are the things you feel good at? Where do you think you have room to grow? What do you enjoy about school? What is not so fun for you? What subjects do you wish you had every day? What about the subjects you’d only want to have once per week? This information can help guide you and your child about what to ask for.
- Create a warm, nonjudgmental space for your children to communicate with you. If they can talk about the things that they like and don’t like, both at home and at school, with you without feeling like they’re upsetting anyone this increases their confidence in being able to express their needs and wants to others.
- Consider the way in which you speak about and acknowledge support needs at school and home. If your child hears these things being discussed in a way that suggests having needs is a bad thing, or that the school is not supportive, it can create negative associations for them. If your child’s support needs are being met with open arms and spoken about in a more positive light at home, they are more likely to feel confident in asking for a receiving such help at school.
- Find opportunities for your child to speak up. During meetings with others, such as school personnel, you can provide opportunities for your child to speak up. If they take the opportunity, great! If they don’t, you’ve still shown them that their voice matters and wants to be heard by others. This may increase the chances of them speaking up the next time!
Ensuring that your child knows that they are loved and supported as a valued and capable person is critical to their success in life. You can start on this path by being prepared and intentional.
Kirsten Spasyouti is a Registered Counselling Therapist – Candidate offering therapy for children, adolescents and adults ages 5 and older. Kirsten specializes in supporting individuals and their families who identify as being neurodiverse with a particular focus in autism and ADHD.
3 Ways to Help Your Child Thrive in Going Back to School
Back to school tips – A guest insight from Crossroads Associate Psychologist Sophia Fajnerova.
Anyone with children knows that the end of summer can bring about many big emotions. For some children, there is much excitement over meeting new teachers and friends. For others, however, there can be more sadness or worry about the upcoming year. Regardless of whether the feelings are more positive or negative, back-to-school can be stressful for many children and families. Here are some tips and tricks to help you navigate this time more easily.
- Reset sleep schedule. During the summer break, children’s schedules tend to be a bit more relaxed, with later bedtimes and more frequent sleeping in. To ease the transition, back to a school schedule, consider slowly shifting your child’s bedtime and wake up time by 5-10 minutes daily, starting a week or two before school begins, until you get them back on a healthy sleep routine.
- Set up routines. Sit down with your child and establish what their daily routine will look like on a school day. What will they need to do to get ready in the mornings? Who is dropping them off and picking them up after school? What responsibilities will they have after school? Having well established and clear routines can create a sense of calm and help guide positive behavior.
a. A checklist can help keep children on track as they move through their daily routine. Add the things you would like your child to complete, such as making their bed or brushing their teeth, to give a visual reminder.
b. The best way to gain mastery over any skill is through practice. Consider role playing new routines with your child in advance of the first day of school. This allows them to try things out, ask questions and iron out any problems that may arise in advance.
c. Even with the best preparation, the first few school mornings can be difficult. Allow extra time during those first few mornings to ensure that your child has enough time to get up, get dressed, eat, and leave the house without unnecessary rush. Picking out clothes to wear and packing their backpack the night before are both good time savers and can make for a more relaxed morning. - Plan a reward. Because the back-to-school transition can be challenging, think about setting up something for your child to look forward to after school. Whether it be their favorite snack, an activity they enjoy, or simply some extra time with you, this type of a “reward” can help them manage their emotions throughout the school day. Enjoy the last few weeks of summer and have a great start to the new school year.
Implement these back to school tips to help your children with their (and your) back to school transition.
Sophia Fajnerova, Crossroads Associate, is a registered psychologist. She specializing in children, adolescents & adults including psychoeducational assessments. Please contact us to set up an appointment with Sophia or any of Crossroads therapists.
Welcome to our newest Associate Psychologist, Jennifer Bernier
The Crossroads team is very pleased to welcome Jennifer Bernier. Jennifer is a Psychologist, Candidate Register with an extensive academic background including a Master of Science in Clinical Psychology degree from Acadia University. She brings a focus on children, adolescents and families. As well, she does psychoeducational assessments.
Jennifer adds to our growing group of therapists who bring focus to the area of child therapy.
Jennifer has joined the team and is currently accepting new clients.
To find out more about Jennifer’s training, publications, presentations and approach to mental health care please view her profile page.
Contact us today to book a counselling appointment or psychoeducational assessment with Jennifer Bernier.
Back to School – Changes, Anxieties and helpful tools
Transcript:
Hello and welcome back to the Crossroads page. My name is Rebecca and today I’m going to be talking a little bit about back to school. As many of you know children face a lot of changes going back to school, new teachers, new classrooms, new environments; it can be very overwhelming for kids, especially younger ones but also adolescents as well. With these changes, we can offer support in things such as emotional regulation, breathing, mindfulness, good social interaction skills.
Such skills are common in our DBT teachings such as Dialectical Behavioural Therapies, tenants of mindfulness and interpersonal effectiveness. Interpersonal effectiveness is a very helpful tool for kids to use when they are in social situations that they might find complex or difficult to understand. Interpersonal effectiveness which, in layman’s terms, is the ease of social interaction and proper social interaction can be good for kids to express their feelings and figure out new challenges and situations or environments that may be unfamiliar to them.
Skills such as emotional regulation can complement interpersonal effectiveness so that when children begin to feel overwhelmed or that things may be spiralling a little out of control they can take a step back, recognize their emotions when they come up and use the skills that they have found personally work for them to come down from that place and reestablish a successful connection.
At Crossroads we offer many of these skills, teachings, and support. If you think that your child could use some support going back to school or with some of the new changes in their life, please consider giving us a call. We may be able to support them with some of these practices. Take care.
Contact us to book an appointment with Rebecca or another child therapy focused Registered Therapist or Psychologist.
Welcome Sophia Fajnerova, M.A.
The Crossroads team is excited to introduce our newest Associate Psychologist, Sophia Fajnerova, M.A. Sophia is a Registered Psychologist with the Nova Scotia Board of Examiners in Psychology (NSBEP) as well as a member of the Canadian Psychological Association. She has extensive experience and training in child therapy and pychoeducational assessments.
Sophia has joined the team and is currently accepting new clients.
To find out more about Sophia’s training, publications, presentations and approach to mental health care please view her profile page.
Contact us today to book a counselling appointment or psychoeducational assessment with Sophia.
Welcome Kelsey Chiasson!
The Crossroads team extends an enthusiastic welcome to our newest Associate, Kelsey Chiasson. Kelsey Chiasson, M.A., is a Registered Counselling Therapist – Candidate (RCT – C) with a background as a Registered Massage Therapist (RMT) so she understands holistic, mental and physical, aspects of care. Her therapeutic areas of interest include anxiety, depression, trauma, chronic pain, burnout, and grief for people aged 18+. From a theoretical standpoint, Kelsey pulls from several theoretical interventions and have training in Acceptance Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, and Narrative and Somatic Therapy.
Kelsey has joined the team and is currently accepting new clients.
To find out more about Kelsey, please view her profile page.
Contact us today to book a counselling appointment with Kelsey.
The Struggle That Men Can’t Talk About – Depression
A guest insight from Mark Ramsay, Registered Counselling Therapist – Candidate (RCT-C)
Have you ever listened to a talk that left you feeling profoundly moved, almost as if it had peeled back layers of your own experiences? That’s exactly what happened to me recently. I stumbled upon a talk that delved into a subject we don’t often discuss – the burdens of shame and depression that many men carry silently.
Men’s depression is a topic that rarely gets the attention it deserves. Many men feel they can’t talk about their struggles, often bottling up their feelings until they become an unbearable weight. The talk highlighted how men go through life carrying and unintentionally passing on their burdens. This isn’t because they want to; often, they don’t even realize they’re doing it.
The reality is, while societal expectations often limit women’s opportunities, they also rob men of something equally crucial – their capacity for authenticity. Society has long conditioned men to seek self esteem through performance, whether that’s in their careers, sports, or even relationships and social status. This constant need to prove oneself can lead to a distressing cycle of hurt, shame and substance addiction, all in an effort to soothe their bruised pride.
What struck me most about this talk was how beautifully it captured the essence of men’s shame and its destructive manifestations. The speaker, Terry, has a remarkable understanding of these issues and communicates them with such clarity and compassion. It’s rare to find someone who can articulate these struggles in a way that resonates so deeply.
If you are a man who has ever felt the weight of depression or if you love someone who has, I can’t recommend this talk enough. It’s an eye-opener, a conversation starter, and most importantly, a reminder that you’re not alone. By breaking the silence and speaking openly about these issues, we can begin to dismantle the harmful narratives that keep so many men from seeking the help and support they need.
In a world where men are often expected to be stoic and self-reliant, acknowledging vulnerability is a radical act of courage. We should know that we can and should talk about depression. So, let’s start talking, listening, and supporting each other. After all, true strength lies in our ability to be authentic, to embrace our full range of emotions, and to seek connection rather than isolation.
Counselling / therapy can be a valuable place for men to begin the process of talking about these kinds of experiences. If you’d like to schedule a session with a therapist, please reach out to us and let us know.
Mark Ramsay is a Registered Counselling Therapist – Candidate at Crossroads Counselling & Psychological Services. Set up an appointment with Mark Ramsay.
How Couples Therapy Can Help
How Couples Therapy Can Help – A guest insight from Sydney Walker, Crossroads Practicum Student Therapist.
Breaking the Cycle: Transforming Relationship Patterns to Cultivate Deeper Connections
My name is Sydney, I am thrilled to be joining the Crossroads Counselling team in September to complete my practicum placement for my master’s degree. My background is working as a clinical researcher for the IWK’s Centre for Research in Family Health. During my time as a practicum student, I will be offering affordable services to couples. I have training in the two major modalities for working with couples; the Gottman Method and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT). These evidenced-based approaches are well-regarded for their effectiveness in helping couples improve communication, deepen emotional bonds, and navigate challenges together. My goal is to create a safe and supportive space where clients can explore their concerns, gain insight into their dynamics, and work towards positive changes.
Why reach out for couples counselling?
Many couples come to therapy after finding themselves caught in familiar loops of misunderstanding and frustration. It is not uncommon to fall into patterns that lead you to feel disconnected, despite your best efforts to be on the same page with your partner. These patterns can manifest in various ways such as repeated arguments over the same issues, difficulty finding common ground, or feeling like you’re speaking different emotional languages. Over time, these patterns of unresolved conflict can lead to resentment and emotional distance between partners.
How is couples counselling helpful?
Couples therapy provides a safe environment to address and resolve conflicts constructively. Often, we get so wrapped up in defending ‘our side’ or being ‘right’ that it impairs our capacity to truly listen and empathize with our partner’s perspective. We can inadvertently trigger our partners by certain actions or words that touch on sensitive areas or past experiences. A couple’s therapist can mediate conflict and observe the relational patterns where partners are becoming ‘stuck’. Maladaptive relational patterns often stem from early childhood, where we first learned about what to expect in relationships. By understanding the origins of these patterns, couples can work towards restoring a sense of closeness and connection in their relationship.
What is The Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is based on over 40 years of research completed by Dr’s John and Julie Gottman. The Gottman’s had a research facility called the ‘Love Lab’ where they observed couples’ interactions and studied them in real-time (see more https://www.gottman.com/love-lab/). Through this work, they theorized what separates the ‘masters’ from the ‘disasters’ in relationships. Their findings have identified crucial predictors of relationship success and failure. The Gottman method has been able to predict the probability of divorce with 90% accuracy (https://www.gottman.com/about/research/). Research has consistently demonstrated that couples undergoing therapy using the Gottman Method report improvements in their relationship satisfaction and communication (Davoodvandi et al., 2018).
How does the Gottman Method enhance my understanding of my partner?
During my time as a practicum student, I will be offering couples the unique opportunity to take the Gottman Relationship Checkup, a valuable assessment developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. This assessment serves as a comprehensive tool to evaluate various aspects of your relationship. Through a series of questionnaires, we’ll explore key areas such as friendship, intimacy, conflict management, and shared goals.
What makes the Gottman Relationship Checkup unique is that it provides personalized feedback based on your responses. This feedback highlights your relationship strengths and identifies specific areas that may benefit from improvement. As we analyze the results together, we will explore any underlying issues such as communication patterns, emotional responsiveness, or the presence of destructive behaviours like criticism or contempt.
The Gottman Relationship Checkup is only available to the public through therapists who have completed specialized training in the Gottman Method. By participating in this assessment, you and your partner can gain deeper insights into your relationship dynamics and receive targeted interventions designed to enhance communication, foster intimacy, and build a stronger partnership.
If you are wondering how couples therapy can help, I invite you to take this step towards understanding each other better and creating positive changes in your relationship. Together, we can work towards achieving your relationship goals.
Here is an example of the results your therapist will be able to see after completing the Gottman Relationship Checkup: https://checkup.gottman.com/clinician/demo/analysis?partner1_flag=true
References (& helpful links)
Davoodvandi, M., Navabi Nejad, S., & Farzad, V. (2018). Examining the Effectiveness of Gottman Couple Therapy on Improving Marital Adjustment and Couples’ Intimacy. Iranian journal of psychiatry, 13(2), 135–141.
https://vimeo.com/161656743 [Video]
Disenfranchised Grief – When People Just Don’t Get It
A guest insight from Crossroads Associate Therapist, Mallory Wilson.
Have you ever experienced a loss but felt like people around you just didn’t get it. Perhaps you felt like they discounted the loss or how impactful it should be in your life? When we lose a pet, an embryo/pregnancy, are grieving someone who hasn’t yet passed, the grief we feel is real and significant. Sometimes others have a hard time relating.
The term ‘disenfranchised grief’ was coined by Dr. Kenneth J. Doka in 1989. It describes the idea that a person’s grief may not fit into society’s attitudes or norms. A person’s loss may unfortunately not be viewed as significant, or people may be made to feel that they do not have a ‘right’ to grieve. Disenfranchised grief can present in individuals feeling they need to ‘get over’ their loss, encouraged to stay strong or to show certain emotions over others. Dawid P Mouton (2024) emphasizes how grief-denying practices or ignoring the existence / impact of grief may influence a person’s ability to regain a balanced lifestyle.
When you are experiencing this type of loss and reaction, counselling can help. Through counselling, individuals are provided with an open, non-judgemental environment that is essential to the grieving process. Education on supportive avenues to process their grief in a healthy way, such as creating rituals or writing a letter to your loved one, can be beneficial.
Especially when you feel alone in your grief, it is important to recognize the situation and get support. All grief is valid, and each person deserves the support to process grief in their own unique way.
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For more background on this research, please check out