How Couples Therapy Can Help

How Couples Therapy Can Help – A guest insight from Sydney Walker, Crossroads Practicum Student Therapist.

Breaking the Cycle: Transforming Relationship Patterns to Cultivate Deeper Connections

My name is Sydney, I am thrilled to be joining the Crossroads Counselling team in September to complete my practicum placement for my master’s degree. My background is working as a clinical researcher for the IWK’s Centre for Research in Family Health. During my time as a practicum student, I will be offering affordable services to couples. I have training in the two major modalities for working with couples; the Gottman Method and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT). These evidenced-based approaches are well-regarded for their effectiveness in helping couples improve communication, deepen emotional bonds, and navigate challenges together. My goal is to create a safe and supportive space where clients can explore their concerns, gain insight into their dynamics, and work towards positive changes. 

Why reach out for couples counselling?

Many couples come to therapy after finding themselves caught in familiar loops of misunderstanding and frustration. It is not uncommon to fall into patterns that lead you to feel disconnected, despite your best efforts to be on the same page with your partner. These patterns can manifest in various ways such as repeated arguments over the same issues, difficulty finding common ground, or feeling like you’re speaking different emotional languages. Over time, these patterns of unresolved conflict can lead to resentment and emotional distance between partners. 

How is couples counselling helpful?

Couples therapy provides a safe environment to address and resolve conflicts constructively. Often, we get so wrapped up in defending ‘our side’ or being ‘right’ that it impairs our capacity to truly listen and empathize with our partner’s perspective. We can inadvertently trigger our partners by certain actions or words that touch on sensitive areas or past experiences. A couple’s therapist can mediate conflict and observe the relational patterns where partners are becoming ‘stuck’. Maladaptive relational patterns often stem from early childhood, where we first learned about what to expect in relationships. By understanding the origins of these patterns, couples can work towards restoring a sense of closeness and connection in their relationship.

What is The Gottman Method?

The Gottman Method is based on over 40 years of research completed by Dr’s John and Julie Gottman. The Gottman’s had a research facility called the ‘Love Lab’ where they observed couples’ interactions and studied them in real-time (see more https://www.gottman.com/love-lab/). Through this work, they theorized what separates the ‘masters’ from the ‘disasters’ in relationships. Their findings have identified crucial predictors of relationship success and failure. The Gottman method has been able to predict the probability of divorce with 90% accuracy (https://www.gottman.com/about/research/). Research has consistently demonstrated that couples undergoing therapy using the Gottman Method report improvements in their relationship satisfaction and communication (Davoodvandi et al., 2018).

How does the Gottman Method enhance my understanding of my partner?

During my time as a practicum student, I will be offering couples the unique opportunity to take the Gottman Relationship Checkup, a valuable assessment developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. This assessment serves as a comprehensive tool to evaluate various aspects of your relationship. Through a series of questionnaires, we’ll explore key areas such as friendship, intimacy, conflict management, and shared goals.

What makes the Gottman Relationship Checkup unique is that it provides personalized feedback based on your responses. This feedback highlights your relationship strengths and identifies specific areas that may benefit from improvement. As we analyze the results together, we will explore any underlying issues such as communication patterns, emotional responsiveness, or the presence of destructive behaviours like criticism or contempt.

The Gottman Relationship Checkup is only available to the public through therapists who have completed specialized training in the Gottman Method. By participating in this assessment, you and your partner can gain deeper insights into your relationship dynamics and receive targeted interventions designed to enhance communication, foster intimacy, and build a stronger partnership. 

If you are wondering how couples therapy can help, I invite you to take this step towards understanding each other better and creating positive changes in your relationship. Together, we can work towards achieving your relationship goals. 

Here is an example of the results your therapist will be able to see after completing the Gottman Relationship Checkup: https://checkup.gottman.com/clinician/demo/analysis?partner1_flag=true 

References (& helpful links)

Davoodvandi, M., Navabi Nejad, S., & Farzad, V. (2018). Examining the Effectiveness of Gottman Couple Therapy on Improving Marital Adjustment and Couples’ Intimacy. Iranian journal of psychiatry, 13(2), 135–141.

The Gottman Method

https://vimeo.com/161656743 [Video]